06 August 2012

Can't I Just PAY For It???

Scenario: Big box store (cough cough Bed Bath & Beyond cough cough)
Purpose: Purchase ice trays since my 13 year old ice maker has quit and I have yet to find a friend who knows how to fix one and I do loves me ice!

Already researched it online, ice trays are in Kitchen...Canisters. Makes sense, sort of. Except there aren't any. I stumble over and around the four shopping carts that are stuffed with new merchandise that a clerk is shelving which are blocking not one, but two end caps.

Finally, I ask the clerk. The damn things are right in front of me, of course. Except these things are $8 apiece with some kind of weird cover so you can release "just one cube". WHY WOULD I WANT "JUST ONE CUBE"? Then he points me to the silicon rubber ones, also $8 apiece. I look up, and oh my, there they are! Plain ol' plastic ice trays. I take all eight of them, at $3 a pair.

There is no one at any of the five registers. But a perky guy named Adam calls me over to the Customer Service Desk. And now the interrogation begins.

With a perky smile on his face, Adam first asks "Did you find everything you need?" Well, duh, whadda think, brainic? If I hadn't, don't you think I would have asked someone? Perhaps even you, since you were at the Customer Service Desk. Yes, I found everything I need.

"Do you have a {special store card that will impart nothing but more email and junk mail to my house}?" No, don't you think I would have offered it if I did?

"Would you like to get a {special store card that will impart nothing but more email and junk mail to my house}?" No, thank you. I'm still in the polite mode because I know this is a script, and not Adam's fault that his manager is standing right behind him listening to his every word.

(Note that if this were a grocery store, at this point the next question would be "Paper or plastic?")

"Would you like to try {some sort of special towels hanging on a rack blocking access to a third of the counter}?" No, I would not like to try some weird towels.

"Would you like to feel them anyway?" WTF?!?! NO NO NO! Just take my fricking money!!!

He scans my four items. We manage to make it all the way to me swiping my card....wait for it...yep...you got it in one:
"Credit or debit?" It amazes me that in the 21st Century, the POS terminal can't figure it out based on whether I put in a PIN or hit cancel and enter my ZIP Code (not to mention the receipt that prints out will be different and want a signature if it's credit).

I enter my PIN, he turns to carry on a conversation with the manager while we wait for the approval and receipt, and then, right on cue:
"Would like your receipt in the bag?" This wouldn't have been so absurd except that I'm reaching for the paper he is thrusting in my direction while he still has the bag below counter level! No answer needed.

The same seems to be true in so many stores. Radio Shack used to asked for my phone number. I'd ask if my phone number was necessary to complete a cash purchase, and at least one time, I was told it was required. I told him to keep the merchandise and walked out. They have stopped that practice. Why do these stores seem to think that an inquisition is necessary to accept money from your customers? Just smile, simply ask if there is anything else, and TAKE MY BLOODY MONEY so I can go home!!!

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